Goodbye, little Franya.
You deserved more than what you got in this life. When we picked you up, you were a shaking, quivering, broken girl. You did not like being kissed, or picked up, or held at all. We wondered what had happened to you. But you were also resilient and brave, and tried your absolute best to adjust.
Over time, you opened up to us more. You started to hang out with us more. You tolerated, and soon enjoyed, cuddles and kisses. You showed us your wonderful personality. You played with a toy for the first time. Your curly little tail went right up as you pounced on a dog-shaped door stopper. It wasn’t really meant for you, but it was yours anyway. We were ecstatic. You were behaving like a carefree dog for the first time, and you deserved those moments of freedom. You barked for the first time. It sounded like a hoarse cough. We were confused that such a deep, odd sound came out of you, but we should have expected that, given how loudly you snored.
You were a sassy and cheeky little thing, and we loved it. You refused to go on walks that were too long and pulled us back home, knowing you were in charge. When you didn’t like something I had cooked for you, you used your nose to push it out of your bowl, leaving me with a mess to clean up and leaving you with a different meal option. If you were still hungry, you’d stand in the kitchen and look at me, and wait patiently as I frantically cooked something yummy for you before you lost your appetite. You learned to go to the toilet outside, and loved to pee in the carpark next to our house or on the pebbles outside. Who knew why you chose those places - but whatever made you happy, we were fine with. We just liked to see your curly tail go up when you were happy.
Only 3 months after you came into our lives, lymphoma hit. You fought so hard, and we thank you for that, because it gave us extra time with you. You always tried to eat to make me happy, even when you didn’t want to. We had an extra amazing month and a half with you. It seems all the more cruel to have a chance at a wonderful life, and have it taken away by cancer. But that never stopped you from giving us all the love that you had, and us giving you all the love that we had. We loved you wholeheartedly and fiercely, and I hope that you felt that.
Eventually, you could not fight anymore. And that’s ok. That’s why we’re here - so we can take your pain, and make it our own. You passed peacefully, with your head on my lap, and with us telling you how loved you were. I hope that’s all you remembered - how wanted, loved, and special you were to us. I hope you did not remember your life before us - only the little walks we had, the cuddles and nose kisses, snuggling up in bed together, sharing our pillows and blankets, watching TV together on the couch, all of the snacks and homemade meals, and all of the love we poured into you. Perhaps you felt that in your final moments, and perhaps that is why you looked so peaceful.
Although you are not here anymore, we think about you all the time. We share memories of what a beautiful, funny, intelligent, kind, affectionate, and sweet little girl you were. Fagin, your devoted cat brother, misses you dearly too. But don’t worry - we are making sure he is okay, and he is looking after us too.
I am so sorry that you did not have the life that you deserved. I am so sorry that people let you down. I am so sorry that you got so sick, and that we could not save you. I am so sorry for the times I got sad when you didn’t want to eat, and the times I got upset at the thought of losing you. I am so sorry. I hope you understand that none of that was your fault, or your responsibility. We are so privileged that we were able to meet you and watch your progress, Franny. I hope you had as much fun with us as we did with you. You were never simply a foster dog to us. From the moment we picked you up, you were part of our family. You were our friend. You and your brother were what our lives revolved around. You were our little girl. You were our little Franya.
We will miss you every second, so, so much, sweet pea. Wherever you are, I hope it is filled with endless roast chicken, doggy shaped door stoppers, pebbles, kisses, cuddles, and happiness.
We loved you, and will continue to love you, more than we can express. I hope you knew that.
Yours always, Your family.